Dear Diary,
Today wasn’t just Thursday—it was the day I finally chose myself.
Today I cut my long hair into a bob, made the impulsive decision to get a tattoo, and treated myself to dinner. Here’s why.
Cut the Hair
I’ve cut my hair into a bob before in hopes of starting a new chapter in my life, and in some ways, I probably did. That was about two years ago. But needing a fresh start doesn’t have a limit on how many times we can have one. This fresh start, in particular, was exactly what I needed.
I’d been trying to grow my hair out for quite some time. I was even taking biotin to help it grow—and it was. I remember having the urge to cut it into a bob a few months ago, but I decided against it.
Why? Because the guy I was dating at the time loved my hair. He loved long hair, so of courseeeee I wanted mine to be as long as possible so he’d love it even more. I know, I know… a certified people pleaser. I’ve been told.
To be fair, I genuinely wanted my hair to grow too. A few years ago, my hair was super long, and whenever I’d come across old pictures, I’d miss it. But if I’m being honest, I was also trying to rush the process because I knew that’s what he liked. He never asked me to grow it out—it was completely my choice. I just wanted to please him.
When we stopped communicating, I was angry. I was hurt. And the very first thing that came to mind was cutting my hair.
Partly because I knew he loved long hair.
Partly because I believe hair holds energy.
And partly because I went through something this year that I never imagined I’d have to experience.
All three of those things influenced my decision to chop it off.
I also felt like my hair was holding onto negativity. I can’t really explain it, but if you know, you know. More than anything, I needed to release every ounce of hurt, disappointment, and negative energy so I could fully step into the beautiful next chapter God has planned for me.
So I did it.
Because it’s my life, my hair, and my decision.
This haircut became more than just a hairstyle. It became a reminder that I’m allowed to make decisions for myself—not to earn anyone’s approval, not to be more lovable, and not to fit someone else’s preferences.
From this moment on, I want to be the kind of people pleaser who pleases herself first.
Because choosing myself isn’t selfish.
It’s long overdue.
Get the Tattoo
As I was lying in bed, quite literally drowning in my sorrows, I started thinking of another way to make myself happy—another change I could make alongside cutting my hair to symbolize the beginning of a brand-new chapter.
Then, out of nowhere, the idea of getting a tattoo came to mind.
At first, I thought about getting another piercing, but my last experience didn’t go too well, so I was honestly too scared to go down that road again. A tattoo, though? That felt crazy. I hadn’t seriously thought about getting one in a very, very long time, and it’s such a permanent decision that I didn’t want to do it just for the sake of doing it.
So I sat with the idea.
As I prayed and reflected, one phrase kept coming to me:
“Diamonds are forever.”
I’ve always turned to God, but because of everything I’ve been going through this year, I’ve grown closer to Him than ever before. He’s been leading me, guiding me, and dropping little gems along the way. That’s why I truly believe this message came from Him. (I go into more detail in my YouTube video if you want to check it out.)
To make a long story short, diamonds are formed under immense pressure. They become something incredibly beautiful and valuable because of what they’ve endured—not despite it. No matter where a diamond ends up or who chooses it, its value never changes.
That was exactly the reminder I needed.
So I got the tattoo.
And I am 100% in love with it.
Quite honestly, this was one of the most beautiful—and impulsive—decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded that pressure doesn’t destroy us. Sometimes, it’s the very thing that transforms us into who we’re meant to become.
One thing I’ve learned is that when a random idea comes to mind—even one that seems a little crazy—it’s okay to take it to God. Pray about it. Watch for His guidance. Pay attention to the peace He gives you.
And if you truly believe it’s right, don’t overthink it.
Sometimes the decisions we make the quickest become the ones that change us in the most beautiful ways.
Take Yourself on That Date
Solo dates are something I’ve intentionally prioritized for about a year now. I even made myself a solo date jar for the days I’m feeling a little spontaneous and can’t decide what to do.
I’ve found that taking yourself on dates teaches you so much about yourself. It gives you the chance to enjoy your own company, move at your own pace, and do exactly what you want to do—without having to consider anyone else’s preferences.
Today, I kept it simple.
I was hungry, it was late, and I had been craving gyozas, so I treated myself to dinner at Jinya. Nothing extravagant. Just good food, good company—my own—and a peaceful evening.
I enjoyed my meal.
I enjoyed the silence.
Most importantly, I enjoyed myself.
For so long, I found myself waiting for someone else to do certain things with me or for me. But the truth is, some of the most meaningful moments happen when you stop waiting and start giving those experiences to yourself.
So here’s the reminder I needed, and maybe you need it too:
Whatever you’re waiting for someone else to do for you…
Do it for yourself.
Take yourself on the date.
Buy yourself the flowers.
Celebrate your wins.
Start the new chapter.
Because the relationship you’ll have with yourself is the one you’ll carry for the rest of your life.