The Beauty in Obedience
First off, if you didn’t know, I got a pixie cut.
I know. I know.
A PIXIE?!
Because I could have sworn I’ve always said, “I would never cut all of my hair off.” But that’s why they say you should never say never…
“I’M NEVER GONNA GET MARRIED. I’M NEVER GONNA GET MARRIED.” insert wink emojis 😂
KMSL.
But seriously, this haircut actually started with something much deeper than me randomly deciding I wanted a pixie.
One day, I was washing my hair and I felt the Holy Spirit telling me not to flat iron it. And honestly, I knew that if I did, I would feel guilty because I knew I wasn’t supposed to.
So I listened.
I started thinking about my curls and how cute they actually were. Then I got the idea to start wearing my natural hair again.
Because what other choice did I have if I was going to feel convicted every time I flat ironed it? 😂
So, naturally, TikTok and Pinterest became my best friends.
At first, I wanted a bixie.
Then I wanted a pixie.
I sat on the idea for about two weeks, going back and forth, until I finally decided I was just going to…
DO IT.
And whew.
It’s been about a week and three days since I got it cut, and I have experienced SO many emotions.
The tears started forming when I saw all of my hair on the floor. Lol. I was fine for the rest of the day, but the next morning?!
I was in SHAMBLES.
Literally sobbing in bed.
It took me hours to finally get up. 😂
I wanted to regret it so badly, but deep down I knew this was something God was asking me to do. So all I could do was wait and see what the lesson was.
And honestly… I had to pause there for a second because…
Wow. The obedience.
I’m not perfect. Sometimes I hear God and still decide to do what I want anyway. So I’m really grateful that this time, I listened.
And now?
A week and three days later, I woke up and realized…
I actually really love my pixie.
I’m even debating whether I should cut it shorter or grow it back out.
Crazy, right?
How do you go from heartbroken over something to absolutely loving it? 😂
But that’s probably another blog post…
So, what have I learned from having a pixie?
If you need to gain confidence… get a pixie cut.
Okay, maybe don’t literally go cut your hair off because I told you to. 😂
But sometimes our hair can become such a huge part of our identity that we forget there is so much more to us.
Once the hair is gone…
you just have YOU.
KMSL.
And honestly, I think that’s part of the beauty of it.
It forces you to start loving yourself for who you are, not just for how you look when your hair is styled a certain way.
For the last eight or so years, I’ve been flat ironing my hair. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I believe God is calling me into a different season right now.
And maybe part of that season is learning confidence.
Which is something I’ve been working on for a while now.
God made me with beautiful curly hair. So maybe I’m supposed to embrace it.
Maybe this season isn’t about changing myself.
Maybe it’s about becoming comfortable with the woman God already created me to be.
Sometimes we alter ourselves so much that we lose sight of who we are.
Now, this thought has been sitting with me…
And I’m still figuring it out.
Sometimes we change our hair, our clothes, our bodies, our personalities, even the way we carry ourselves because we’re trying to become the version of ourselves that we think will finally get us what we want.
A relationship.
Attention.
Validation.
Acceptance.
But what if, in trying so hard to become someone else, we miss the version of ourselves that God was already trying to develop?
And listen…
I’m going to say this because a lot of us girlies want to find our husbands. 😂
But what if we’re so focused on creating an image that we think men will want that we forget to simply be ourselves?
Maybe the person God has for you isn’t looking for the version of you that you created for everyone else.
Maybe he’s supposed to meet you.
The real you.
The woman God has been shaping.
The woman with the personality, quirks, style, hair, flaws, softness, confidence, and everything else that makes her her.
Now, does that mean you can’t have purple, pink and blue hair? Absolutely not. 😂
Wear the hair!
But I do think there’s something to be said about asking ourselves:
Am I expressing myself, or am I constantly reinventing myself because I’m afraid the real me isn’t enough?
Hmmmm.
Next post.
Next post. 😂
And on a much lighter note…
The amount of compliments you get with a pixie cut is UNREAL.
I’ve always been used to getting stared at, but the amount of people who have actually stopped to tell me how beautiful I am, how cute my hair is, how much they love my haircut, etc. has been wild.
And no, their validation isn’t what I was looking for.
But I’m not going to lie…
It feels good. 😂
Especially considering I literally hated this haircut when I first got it.
I’ve had people stare me down the entire night. I’ve had people compliment me over and over. I even had somebody watching me all night while I was with somebody else.
KMSL.
Maybe the pixie if attractive because it screams confident. If you can wear a pixie, you can do anything.
But honestly, the biggest compliment has been the one I’ve been able to give myself:
I like me.
Even without long hair.
Even without hiding behind it.
Even while I’m still figuring out exactly who I am in this season.
And maybe that’s what this haircut was really about.
Not the hair.
Me.
So if there’s one thing I want you to take from this post, it’s this:
Just embrace the natural you, shawty.
The version of you that doesn’t need to perform.
The version of you that doesn’t need everybody’s approval.
The version of you that God created on purpose.
Because maybe that’s where the real beauty has been hiding all along. 🤍